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A drunken decision during dare week changes Phillip Drake’s life forever. In less than two years, he becomes a nurse, a father, and a widower. For a young, gay man, this was way past tilt on his shock-meter. To his disappointment, the life he planned for himself with his lover, James, will never happen. A tragedy brings Phil home with his son. He learns James wants to be with him again, but Phil is hesitant. His focus is on what’s best for his son. Could James be what’s best for both the son and the father?
James nodded and sat next to him on the bumper. The tension between them was like static electricity in the air. Phillip had a million conversations for a million scenarios of this possible meeting. He knew James was waiting for him to say something, but every time he opened his mouth, too many words rushed to his mind at the same time, resulting in nothing audible. In frustration, Phillip gulped down the rest of his beer. They sat side by side on the back of his car, both leaning over on their knees. He rolled his empty beer bottle between his hands and sent a sideways look over to James who met his gaze.
“So… how you been?” James said finally, breaking the awkward silence.
Phillip nodded nervously. “I’m… I’m okay, James.”
James’s brow rose. “Really? You don’t look okay. I mean, you look fantastic, even better than the last time I saw you, but you know that’s not what I meant. It’s your eyes that give you away, you know.”
James leaned over and caressed Phillip’s face. He could have sworn his heart stopped.
“Those beautiful bright blue eyes always told me what was really going on inside of you.”
James’s touch sent a shudder of longing through his body. Instantly, his dick got hard. Phillip closed his eyes and pressed James’s palm to his face.
“James….” he whispered, a soft, raspy sound.
James followed it with a low erotic noise of his own. His hand pressed against Phillip’s clean-shaven face, urging him to his feet as he rose with him.
“Phil, I’ve missed you so much,” James whispered slowly, closing the gap between their faces.
“James, I’ve missed you, too, but—”
James stopped his explanation as he pressed his lips hard against Phillip’s. James ate at his mouth gently, fingers moving from Phillip’s cheek to the back of his head to grab a handful of Phillip’s brown hair. He pulled Phillip’s head back, ending their sensual kiss and exposing Phillip’s neck. Bending down, he put tender kisses along his throat and his bobbing Adam’s apple. Phillip sighed his enjoyment.
Flashes of memory came crashing back to Phillip’s mind, becoming more vivid each time James’s lips touched his heated skin. His cock pressed harshly against his khakis, and his torso suddenly felt overheated in the button-down blue shirt he wore. He was grateful that he had pulled his tie off as soon as he left the courtroom earlier in the day. It would have been extremely tight and constricting at the moment. Suddenly, the unpleasant events of his past week surged forward in his mind and overtook the pleasure of what James was doing to his body.
“Wait, wait, James, please,” Phillip gasped softly, pushing him away.
James stepped back, his handsome face twisted in confusion. The pain in James’s eyes made Phillip turned away.
“Please, James, don’t look at me like that.”
“How am I supposed to look at you? I don’t know what’s going on. Help me understand, Dusty,” James said with obvious restraint.
Phillip flinched inwardly at the use of the pet name James had given him years ago. Early in their relationship, he would come home after an early morning run covered in dust from the road he jogged along. Phillip smiled every time he heard it, knowing how it came about. James had used the name on many happy occasions and tender moments, but none made him feel more special than when James spoke the name as he pounded his cock into him during the heat of passion. Phillip’s body reacted again to the erotic memory, and his cock throbbed inside of his pants again.
“Talk to me, Dusty,” James said, moving close behind him. “Tell me what’s happening here. Better yet, tell me what happened to you.” Confusion and pain strained his voice as he turned Phillip back to him. “I thought we had something special,” he added in a whisper.
Phillip’s heart ached as he looked into the depths of James’s glistening brown pools. He had only done what he thought was right at the time.
“James, I swear, I never meant to hurt you. I just—”
Phillip’s explanation was cut short again as James yanked him back into his arms. His kiss was passionate and full of emotion. James kissed him hungrily this time, sucking on his tongue, pulling him even closer to him. Phillip’s head spun dizzily, and his knees finally buckled, but James’s arms were strong, holding him upright. James broke the kiss, leaving Phillip breathless and almost panting with need.
“I’ve missed you so much, Dusty. Please, please, come back to my house with me. I want you so bad. Let me hold you. Let me show you how much I’ve missed you,” he said, nuzzling his neck between kisses.
Oh God, yes! Phillip’s body screamed.
James’s kisses were intoxicating. James’s cock pressed against his own through the thin material of his shorts. It felt so good. His body remembered every caress from James’s strong hands, the very hands that were sliding up and down his back and gripping his ass. Phillip’s body continued to cry out to his brain, but it refused to cooperate. Again, the disheartening events returned to his remembrance, making him pull away from the joy he felt in James’s arms.
“I’m so sorry, James. I’m not trying to hurt you, but I can’t,” Phillip said, choking on the words that tore at his heart. Reluctantly he walked back into the house without a backward glance.